The Twists and Turns of Grief

Posted by Milo Wilson On Tuesday, January 24, 2017 0 comments

Today marks seven years. Seven years since we lost our beautiful boy Josiah Nathaniel Wilson to a congenital heart defect. It is amazing how time marches forward whether we are ready to do so or not. Grief shapes us. Loss changes us. But it has been my experience that God sustains us.

Grief shapes us. There is no question that at the age of 35, no other event has shaped me in the way that losing my son did seven years ago. Grief came between my wife and I where nothing and nobody else has ever been able to do so. Grief connected me to a fraternity I never asked to be a part of. A fraternity in our case specifically of parents who outlive their children. This isn't what we wanted. 

Loss changes us. I walk through hospitals differently now. I'm reminded of the regular faces of security guards, cleaning staff, hospitality teams and of course; doctors and nurses. The faces are different now, but familiarity still exists. I find myself leaning in and listening if I meet someone at a coffee shop with a family member who is ill, or a friend who recently passed. I've grown a desire to listen intently, and honor someone's story with my attention. This isn't who I used to be.

God sustains us. Although grief gave our marriage a rough "shake" God's love has brought us togetherness that we would never have experienced without the pain. While loss has given us some battle scars, we have found our story to be an on-ramp to meaningful conversations with many different people, from all walks of life, and births hope through the Gospel for living another day. 

While a twinge of guilt creeps in when I realize I haven't thought of him as often, or when I realize on days like today that the memories aren't as vivid as they used to be, I can still smile. Josiah's legacy lives in me. His half-a-heart still beats in my chest. I might be the only one to see his picture on my wall every morning, but his imprint on my life can be seen by everyone.

 I love you Josiah.

Our son died. Do you want to talk to us about it? :-)

Posted by Milo Wilson On Thursday, May 26, 2016 0 comments

7 years ago little Josiah came into our lives and rocked our world! This picture was snapped on a cellphone by a gracious nurse seconds after he was born, and immediately messaged to me, his daddy, nervously waiting just outside the OR doors. In this moment, Josiah was still unencumbered by the hoses, needles, and multiple surgical scars that would be a normal part of his sweet little life. Yet, I find HOPE in this image, because I know that he is exactly how God created him to be. Broken heart and all! 
Thanks so much little man for changing me! Your short life had an incredible imprint on this world! Its truly amazing. I would have never learned to see God hand at work in the regular things the way I do now without knowing you! We miss you so much. May 20th 2009 - Jan 24th 2010.
Friends, if you are ever wondering how to talk to someone about their deceased child on his birthday, or any day of the year... say their child's name. That what really means the most to me. Whether its over coffee, over the phone, over a text message, or over the neighbors fence. It just fells nice to hear the name said aloud. So, if you are ever in my office, or in our home, please feel free to comment "Is that a picture of Josiah?" It will do my heart glad!

Wilson's Must Go! 2015: Day 15

Posted by Milo Wilson On Friday, July 10, 2015 0 comments

We arrived safely in Asheville at Rahel's new home which they purchased on the Internet. Rented a car and drove through the night to buffalo. Arrived at 6am on July 9th. What an incredible adventure!

Wilson's Must Go! 2015: Day 14

Posted by Milo Wilson On Wednesday, July 8, 2015 0 comments

Crossed the Mighty Mississippi. Major flooding. Arrived in Appalachia. Explored Rahel's amazing new house in west Asheville. Great 12 hr day!

Wilson's Must Go! 2015: Day 13

Posted by Milo Wilson On Monday, July 6, 2015 1 comments

Great day in St Louis with cousins Violet and Justice. What a great day!

The Wilson's Must Go! 2015: Day 12

Posted by Milo Wilson On 0 comments

18 hr Day from Estes Park to St Louis. Incredibly windy roads, and great views of massive farms. Took tons of pics of tractors and combines, but not everyone finds that as cool as I do! So glad to be with Aunt Lydia in St Louis.