This is my first time on the computer since Josiah was born and I don't really now what to say but that everybody who has been through this was right... It is a roller coaster! One minute is great and the next is bad again. One minute everything looks to be getting better and the next something new has popped up making it harder for Josiah.

Yesterday he had his eyes open a ton and that was a beautiful sight when I first got to see him in the morning. Lots of people have asked what color his eyes are. They are just like Daylia's were, dark, pretty much black, probably will turn out to be brown. But looking into his eyes is wonderful. My mom said that he squeezed her finger when she put it in his hand. I wasn't so lucky.

Lots of things with him yesterday were starting to get better. What I realized yesterday that I don't think sunk in with me the day he was born was the immense trauma that he underwent his first day of life. Basically, doctors are working to get Josiah to where a "normal" Hypoplastic Left Heart baby would be at this point. Because of the trauma of day 1 he's got a ways to go to get there. One of the pediatric cardiologist told me yesterday that Josiah's goals were to get his lungs clearer (they had filled with blood before his catheritization), they did get better. Another goal was to decrease the amount of lactate in his body (this is acid that built up because of the trauma). He started out yesterday at 15 they want him to be under 2. He got down to about 9 yesterday, so good progress. The other goal was to keep his blood pressure stable and he's doing much better with that. So he did great working on his goals for yesterday. That all made us feel great! So we had a pretty high day... until about 7:00pm, when another PC told us he had some bad news. They discovered during an ultrasound of Josiah's belly that one of his kidneys has been damaged. I'm not really sure of the extent of that, but they've got a kidney specialist checking on him regularly now too. The PC said that it's possible that his kidney could repair itself, but he also said that lots of people live just fine with one kidney. I joked with him that Josiah needed a better start in life than half a heart and half as many kidney's as the normal child. He agreed.

I could go on and on with his complications but that's to much. The hard realization yesterday was that I think I was looking at Josiah and his situation with "rose colored" classes earlier and then they were taken off and it finally hit me just how sick and critical his little body is right now. Finding the balance between optimism and reality is very difficult.

Our little guy is in the best care and hands he could be in. I don't have a doubt about that. These doctors and nurses are amazing and I'm truly grateful for them. We also know that Josiah is in the hands of the ultimate healer as well. We are clinging to and claiming the promise of the name we have given our baby... Josiah - Jehovah heals, Nathaniel- God's precious gift. Thank you all so much for your support and especially for your prayers, please continue them.