The Gospels and Healing?

Posted by Erin Wilson On Tuesday, June 1, 2010 5 comments
Milo and I have just finished reading through the Gospels. We read through them in large chunks so it only took us about 10 days. We've been working through this Bible reading plan and I've been looking forward to the point when we read the Gospels, so I was very surprised to find myself crying every day as I read the Gospels. I just kept reading over and over about all the miraculous healing Jesus did. The theme is "your faith has healed you." Jesus tells his followers that over and over when he heals them from their physical aliments. He also tells his disciples many times about how their faith can do anything. All that, faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains stuff, sure made me question things. Not to worry, I'm not losing my faith our doubting my beliefs. It's just who I am. It was how I was raised. I tend to question things because I feel like it makes me believe more in the truth I find. So here I am reading through the Gospels the books of the Bible that are suppose to bring me such hope and I'm crying because Jesus heals everyone he comes in contact with. There are no stories in the Gospels ( I don't think, I suppose I could have missed one) when Jesus chooses not to heal and even when he didn't heal right away he raised dead people back to life. As I read these miracles over and over I couldn't help but ask why He didn't choose to heal my son. I believe He could have. I remember sitting at the funeral home in Charleston the day after Josiah died and them telling me that they had already brought Josiah's body there from the morgue. I sat there thinking Jesus could still bring him back to life. Couldn't he? Then I go back to what Jesus said over and over, "go, your faith has healed you." So of course I question. I think I have enough faith but maybe I don't.

I don't really know what else to say here, right now. This is one of those post that I'm not sure I should publish. Believe me when I say I don't mind being in this place where I question my faith. I enjoy questioning why I believe what I believe. It makes it more real to me. I don't have answers for why God didn't heal Josiah and I probably never will but I will continue to seek how that aligns with my belief in a God who loves me deeply.

- A Heart That Hold's On

5 comments to The Gospels and Healing?

  1. says:

    Jeremy Erin, I love that you published this. I think the world often looks at our brand of Christianity as having cookie-cutter answers to questions they can't answer. But anyone who runs across this site will appreciate you wrestling with the questions that don't necessarily have easy or quick answers. I know I do. Your example of making Scripture such a rich and consistent part of your lives is something I also am challenged by. Thank you for telling us about what's going on. Many have been - and will be - enriched because of it.

  1. says:

    Angela I'm so glad you posted this, I have often wondered the same thing. I don't question my faith but when I read of miracles happening (even today) to people that "just believed" I too start to wonder. Why did God heal other babies but not mine? Why not Josiah? In my despair such questions threaten to consume me. But then I remember that there is a greater plan at work here that I just can't see and therefore don't understand. One day all of our questions will be answered....until then I continue to hold onto the One that saves us and holds our little one in His arms.

  1. says:

    Helen Erin,
    Even though we have not suffered the horrible loss that you guys have, I have the same thoughts concerning Shannon's chronic back pain. I KNOW that God can heal him but why is He choosing not to ?? I definitely "get" what you're saying here. If you have any revelations or if God sets a bush on fire in your yard to give you answers, please pass them along !!
    Love you guys !
    ~Helen

  1. says:

    Lenore I have had the same thoughts as you Erin. I have to just remember that God does see the bigger picture. I am in the middle of reading Job.

    Praying for you all.

  1. says:

    Tracy I'm glad you posted this as well, Erin... Unfortunately, I don't have any answers for you either. Someone close to me has been struggling with this healing/faith issue for awhile now, and I, too, just can't wrap my brain around why Jesus heals who he heals and doesn't heal others. What comes to my mind whenever I think about this subject is... whenever my faith has increased (or there has been a big change in my life) it has always been something God has done in my life, not something I have done. Sure, I might have asked him to increase my faith or change me, but he definitely does the increasing and changing! And, whenever I'm feeling the need to come up with something I feel I might need to do to increase my faith or change myself, it just drives me crazy thinking of possible ways I might be able to do these things in order to "manipulate" God into doing what *I* want him to do.

    It sure is difficult trusting God, and it doesn't make any sense sometimes why he doesn't heal all precious babies and children, but one day hopefully he will show us why and we will get a much bigger picture of his love and how in the world he decides what he decides.

    As Helen wrote, please let me know if you get a real answer to this!

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