Here's a big, to be honest with you… Milo and I recently started to try and get pregnant. We started to try over 8 months ago but that only lasted 2 weeks (if that) when I realized I was avoiding Milo and discovered I was really not ready. It was fear that kept me from being ready. So we stopped trying. In the last 8 months I have worked through some things and now feel like I am ready to start trying again. But there is still some fear. Like I said, I'm not really fearful of bad things happening. I am more fearful of my feelings.
The past couple of days I have felt fearful of the emotions that would come with not getting pregnant. I am fearful of not being excited if I do get pregnant. I am fearful of how I may or may not feel about a new baby. I'm fearful of all the emotions that go along with pregnancy.
Fear does not control my life. I am choosing to face it and keep living the life God would have for me. We believe God has given us the green light to go ahead and try to get pregnant again and we are really excited about that. However, that decision doesn't come without fear.