Home in Greer?

Posted by Erin Wilson On Sunday, September 27, 2009 2 comments
I decided to go home with Milo and the girls this weekend. This is only the 2nd time I've been home in 4 months. It's weird how you feel like a stranger in your own home. It's just not the same. Even though Josiah has never been here and we never set anything up for him before we left. It's just weird. Something is missing. Things look different, smell different. I opened the completely wrong closet looking for a towel this morning. We've lived in this house for 5 years now. You'd think I'd remember where I keep the towels. I sat down in front of the TV this morning and said to Milo, "has our TV always been this small and this round?" I was caught off guard by what made it feel like home though. It was the sound of Milo's beard trimmer this morning while I was still in bed trying to sleep. I used to get so annoyed by that sound in the mornings but this morning it was a familiar sound and while I still wanted to sleep it was oddly comforting to here. (Milo only trims his beard while he is home on the weekends, so I haven't heard that sound in months) Again I am reminded of the simple things in life. While the girls have gotten up every morning at 7am while we've been in Charleston. This morning I didn't here them until 8:10am and then they didn't even call for me. They stayed in their room, laying in their bed, chatting with each other. They too must have felt at home. On our way to church, we got to the corner of our street and Daylia yelled out, "I see the water tower." Since she was 6 months old I would tell her, "There's the water tower, we are almost home." Again it caught me off guard, how comforting it was to here her say that this morning and again it's the little things in life.

We did go to church this morning. It was so nice to be with my husband in church. It was wonderful to watch him lead worship again. I miss being in church with him. We had a guest speaker today at our church. He was a man in our church who has battled a very deadly cancer this year that brought our church to it's knees through out this year. He shared his story with us and how God has moved in his life this year. When I found out that he was speaking this weekend I knew it was going to be hard for me to listen to his story. I was doing just fine until he spoke about the hours his wife waited in the waiting room while he was in surgery and how she waited on updates from the doctors. That feeling is just a tremendously haunting memory for me and I just lost it at that point. I couldn't keep my composure after that just thinking about our sweet little boy. Some people have asked me how my faith helps us through this and the last song we sang today really says it all.

Matt Redman - You Never Let Go

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and
through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth


Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Funny thing about that song is. I remember singing it at Ridgeview right after I found out about Chris's (the guy who spoke today) cancer. Knowing that I was singing that song that day without ever facing anything difficult in my life, I remember thinking to myself I wonder if I could sing this song in the midst of difficult times like those Chris was facing. I didn't know then if I would be able to. I can say today, that was able to. "Still I will praise You, Still I will praise You."

Lastly today, please pray for Josiah. I received a phone call that he had spiked another fever last night and that his white blood count jumped from 6,000 to 30,000. All this is indicative of another possible infection.

- A Heart that Holds On

2 comments to Home in Greer?

  1. says:

    Anonymous Erin,

    I remember the first time I came home without RJ and how everything felt different. I am so glad I got to met you and your family. We are always praying for Josiah and your family. My favorite song while traveling our journey was by the McKameys. Just said that the God on the mountain is the same God in the valley. Mamny hugs and special prayers. Stacey Stokes, Mother to RJ.

  1. says:

    Anonymous I love that song too! I remember singing that song during our infertility journey and then again when I was in church and my little Ava was still in the NICU. All I can say is yes...STILL I CAN PRAISE HIM. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Praying that Josiah is doing well today.

    In Christ,
    Abbey Medcalf Cooler

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