We did go to church this morning. It was so nice to be with my husband in church. It was wonderful to watch him lead worship again. I miss being in church with him. We had a guest speaker today at our church. He was a man in our church who has battled a very deadly cancer this year that brought our church to it's knees through out this year. He shared his story with us and how God has moved in his life this year. When I found out that he was speaking this weekend I knew it was going to be hard for me to listen to his story. I was doing just fine until he spoke about the hours his wife waited in the waiting room while he was in surgery and how she waited on updates from the doctors. That feeling is just a tremendously haunting memory for me and I just lost it at that point. I couldn't keep my composure after that just thinking about our sweet little boy. Some people have asked me how my faith helps us through this and the last song we sang today really says it all.
Matt Redman - You Never Let Go
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth
Chorus:
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth
Chorus:
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You
Funny thing about that song is. I remember singing it at Ridgeview right after I found out about Chris's (the guy who spoke today) cancer. Knowing that I was singing that song that day without ever facing anything difficult in my life, I remember thinking to myself I wonder if I could sing this song in the midst of difficult times like those Chris was facing. I didn't know then if I would be able to. I can say today, that was able to. "Still I will praise You, Still I will praise You."
Lastly today, please pray for Josiah. I received a phone call that he had spiked another fever last night and that his white blood count jumped from 6,000 to 30,000. All this is indicative of another possible infection.
- A Heart that Holds On
Anonymous Erin,
I remember the first time I came home without RJ and how everything felt different. I am so glad I got to met you and your family. We are always praying for Josiah and your family. My favorite song while traveling our journey was by the McKameys. Just said that the God on the mountain is the same God in the valley. Mamny hugs and special prayers. Stacey Stokes, Mother to RJ.