I think I need to make some time away from them occasionally because I think what happens is that being with them constantly keeps me so busy that I don't have the time to grieve the way I need to and so I get angry and upset. I think if I can make the time to get away I can be more present when I am with them. I think both Milo and I need sometime by ourselves and some time together without the girls. So I'm taking a break tomorrow. I'm going to a church leadership conference with Milo. Thank you to my dear friend who is going to watch the girls for us tomorrow. I'm hoping some time away from the girls will give me a chance to reflect and recharge and I'll be better for it and for them when I get back.
Our girls are beautiful and they bring us so much joy. I am so grateful for them, their health and their joyful spirit. I never imagined myself getting so frustrated with them and I feel so guilty for it but I love them to much to continue feeling this way so I'm going to try some new things hoping to get back on track.
Here are some beautiful pictures I took of the girls yesterday in the backyard. We had the most beautiful snow yesterday. In an attempt to keep reminding the girls (Hazyl especially) where Josiah lives now I told them that I thought Josiah knew how much his sister's loved snow. So maybe he asked God if He would make it snow for his sisters and God said, "sure!"