Josiah is doing pretty well today. He's comfortable and sleeping lots. For those of you who missed it Josiah turned 4 months old on the 20th. Wow! I can't believe it's been 4 months. I have a hard time thinking about him being 4 months old already. He obviously doesn't do what a normal 4 month old does. I can't let myself think about it too much because it makes me sad. There's a lot you can't let yourself think about. When I think about him having gone through all this in 4 months I can't help but wonder what all this does to a baby in the long term. What do all the drugs do, what does the lack of movement do, what does the lack of contact and touch do. It's very overwhelming to me to think about. Milo constantly reminds me that if we can get through this we'll be able to get through the repercussions of it all too. I constantly pray that God is comforting and holding Josiah tight when I am not there. That he can feel loving arms around him regardless.
Can you tell that I'm getting anxious about coming home this weekend? Yes, I am coming home Sunday and Monday. This will be my second time home in 4 months. It's so very hard to leave, but I've been missing "life" lately. It's like you almost forget what your old house and your old friends and your old life is like.
The PCICU lost a precious baby this morning. This has been the first loss I've witnessed since we've been here. It is so hard to see. I can't imagine the pain this mother is feeling right now. The only thing I can do for her is pray for comfort that can't be explained. Please pray for that with us.
This has been a sad post. Praying the next will be better.
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