We had all of these boxes of mobiles and toys sitting in our entry way at home and on Thursday afternoon we just thought, there's no time like the present to head to Charleston. We left around 8pm and were able to stay at one of Josiah's nurses house right downtown. We are very lucky to have the "hook-up" in Charleston now! When we started getting close to Charleston it was weird, both Milo and I said it felt like we were going home. Even Daylia was very excited. We thought she would be sleeping shortly after we started driving instead she talked most of the way about how much she loves Charleston. As we pulled into the city she got very excited about seeing the "triangle bridge" (cooper river bridge).
We went over to the hospital in the morning and dropped off the mobiles and toys. It was great to see everyone and I was really glad that they let the girls come in the unit. Most of the time children are not allowed into the unit. They occasionally made exceptions for our girls so they could come see their brother. Hazyl still sometimes asks when Josiah's going to come home and says that he is still at the hospital. So I was really glad they came into the unit with us because I was worried that Hazyl would think we went to visit Josiah. This way she got to see that Josiah was not there and hopefully realize that we did not just leave him there. We spoke with some of the staff for a while. The girls picked out a mobile to give to one of the crying babies. They were so good in the unit. We then went out to lunch with our friends the Deeb's whose little girl is in the PCICU right now. It was so good to see them. It was an encouragement to us and I hope to them as well to just be together, because sometimes it just feels so lonely.
We then went back to Colleen's so the girls could nap and then later went out to dinner with a group of people from the PCICU. We really had a great time and are very glad we went. We weren't sure how it would feel to go back there but it was great. We love that place! Someone asked me why Charleston felt like home and I realized that Charleston reminds me of Josiah. Here in Greer/Greenville nothing really reminds me of Josiah because he was never really here. And even though Josiah never really left the hospital the city still reminds me of him. When we go to the park under the Cooper River Bridge I am reminded of playing there with the girls while Josiah was alive. The beach reminds me of making the most of our time with the girls while Josiah was alive. The things we experienced in Charleston while Josiah was not physically with us we were doing them because Josiah was with us. Charleston is where we were a family of 5, not your typical family of 5, but we were still a family of 5. So going to Charleston last weekend felt great and we can't wait to go back again!
CMaqueda I know I only came to visit you all in Charleston every couple weekends or so, but hearing you talk about the memories I can completely understand why it feels like home. In an unprecedented way, your routine felt normal, and the way your family of 5 worked best.
Yesterday we had a great Easter service and we sang a version of the old hymn "Because He Lives." But there was a verse I've probably sang many times but it meant so much more yesterday.
"How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives.
But greater still the calm assurance,
This child can face uncertain days because He lives.
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living just because He lives."
I was overcome by emotion trying to sing those words and thinking of you all and Josiah. I am so thankful I got to experience having a nephew like Josiah. Love and miss you all.