Today, Maia is 8 months and 4 days old.  Josiah died at 8 months and 4 days old.  It's one of those days.

"My despondent mood casts a shadow over everything, even over my faith. On those occasions I find it hard to believe anything at all.  But then I gain perspective.  I remind myself that suffering is not unique to us.  It is the destiny of humanity.  If this world were the only one there is, then suffering has the final say and all of us are a sorry lot.  But generations of faithful Christians have gone before and will come after, and they have believed or will believe what I believe in the depths of my soul.  Jesus is at the center of it all.  He defeated sin and death through his crucifixion and resurrection.  Then light gradually dawns once again in my heart, and hope returns.  I find reason and courage to keep going and to continue believing.  Once again my soul increases its capacity for hope as well as for sadness.  I end up believing with greater depth and joy than I had before, even in my sorrow."

-A Grace Disguised

by Jerry Sittser

It's one of those days when I have to sink into my faith.  When I have to lean into Jesus because there are too many questions without answers, there is too much sorrow and the only thing I can do is to ask God to allow me to feel His presence, feel His Love and for Him to be my vision.

"Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;

Nought be all else to me, save that Thou art;

Thou my best thought, by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my wisdom, and Thou my true word;

I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be my vision, O Ruler of all.