There were no surprises that morning. Everything was planned and scheduled.

Seventeen years ago, our son Josiah Nathaniel Wilson came into this world with a mixture of great fanfare and careful planning. Born with the dual threat of heart defects called HLHS and ASD, Josiah’s survival that day was considered by a room full of doctors to be a medical miracle. As a precious baby brother born to two sisters under the age of four, his arrival was considered by our girls to be absolutely perfect. And to us — his parents, grandparents, and extended family — he was simply Josiah, “Jehovah has healed”… Nathaniel, “a precious gift from God.”

Josiah lived in this world for 8 wonderful, exhilarating months — full of ups and downs, victories and setbacks, hope and heartbreak — before passing away in January of 2010. Our lives have never been the same.

Today, Josiah would have been 17. Driving to school. Growing into a young man. Making us laugh. Keeping life interesting. This morning, we did something interesting to keep his memory alive. It was a little quirky, a little crazy, and exactly what we needed.

Before sunrise, we climbed up on the roof together as a family to watch the day begin. We sipped coffee and hot chocolate, ate birthday-cake-flavored donuts, and reminisced about the day Josiah was born. It was cloudy. There wasn’t much of a sunrise to see. No dramatic colors. No breathtaking moment. And yet, the day still came.

In many ways, that felt like a picture of God’s faithfulness through grief. Some days feel bright and clear. Other days feel covered in clouds. But through it all, God continues to sustain us, carry us, and provide for us. He gave us a heart that holds on.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”